CONTINUED: QUOTES FROM MY WRITINGS ON: THE SPIRITUAL JOURNEY – THE PATH – SEEKER

The inner ‘journey’ can be viewed as the move from:
From self to Self to non-self/beingness
From helplessness, to empowered creator - manifestation, to surrender
From blame & guilt, to complete responsibility, to the gnosis its all the cosmic play
From chaos & confusion, to passionate effort, to the discipleship of effortlessness
From being lost, to the gurgle of  knowing you are a vital part of the Cosmos, to awakening from that
From destiny, to free will, to Divine will
From limited personal identity to expanded personal consciousness to Universal Consciousness…All That Is...Nothingness
The move from self to Self to non self... from  personal self, to I Am, to an impersonal  state of being without any identity

Paradoxically, as we increasingly become one with the consciousness that we are, our concerns about going home lessens, because as Consciousness we rest in the knowing that I ‘divyaa’ (current self) will ‘go home’ when I consciousness choose…we rest in the gnosis that I ‘divyaa’ is not awakened as I consciousness don’t choose it yet and when I as consciousness do so…then so will i as divyaa! Obviously I consciousness still need i divyaa in the cosmic play! In this we move from current selves concerns to what we as consciousnesses choose...! In analogy if we are the producer of the play and acting in it, we won’t want to go off the stage if our role in it is not over, no matter how tired we are, as we know it will affect the play!

Homage can be to Guru God or Self… all three states are seemingly the same &yet each is a subtle shift into establishing as authentic Self. When nothing-not even our guru or god stands between Self- when there isn’t even a grain of sand in between-do we truly abide in Self. Ultimately abiding in Self is beyond devotion, gyan even love .Devotion to whom? Love implies another. And Gyan-knowledge of Self is still a hairs breadth from being Self! And yet as Self- a state of being  beyond duality & thus what we call contradictions- even though there is no other we view all as aspects of Self, and thus though one is beyond devotion love and gyan...they exist in relation to Self & all its reflections.

A personal sharing: Last eve I heard an old old song that used to be my favorite as a teenager- and I recalled the exquisite yearning that it used to bring about! And at that point I never quite knew what the yearning was about- at the most I used to think it was a yearning for love- for that significant other! But as I heard the song now, and felt not yearning but an inexpressible sweetness and fullness, I real-ized that current awareness of Self... its bliss, fulfillment, inexpressible divine connection call it what we may.. is what the yearning was about...and now in experiencing Self/being one with it…the yearning had translated  to this ...peaceful fulfillment for lack of better words!

Enlightenment is not something for the sages, it is not an impossible dream and it does not imply a distancing of self from all that we have held dear. Life, even our very contemporary life and enlightenment are not mutually exclusive states. And this to me is true spirituality- something that includes and not excludes my day-to- day life! Something that blends with, and indeed optimizes my humanity and its purposes and desires, rather than opposing, suffocating and suppressing them! Thereby deeply fulfilled do we extend the same to ‘others’ around us and extend from self to selves to the Godself within!

When we understand the perfection of it all.... we do not condemn any thing.. .we do not wrangle with why is it like this and why not like that... we do blame education or society or even politics...and politicians.. we understand that each one is playing out their role in the larger scheme. And the best part is that when one moves into higher awareness... when one views self, the other, life and God through the larger picture lens ( we are God choosing to play this human game, each one is an aspect of my Godself, playing our part etc et etc) then  Acceptance - Non Resistance- Non judgment spontaneously happen to us rather than needing to incorporate them as such!

If you have a larger focus/goal.... then it’s easier to focus on that outcome… and not get distracted by what comes on the way.  For example, if i know i am going to a great place for lunch, i won’t be tempted to eat junk food on the road! But if i didn't have that end goal in mind clearly... i might stop at every tempting food stall on the way!

This is my true message to my fellow travelers... that once we start this journey and start to move into higher awareness...  we automatically move into all those impossible sounding 'spiritual' qualities that we may have read about and found out of our league! Indeed one soon realizes that impossible (sounding) concepts are not really so! Unconditional love, non-judgment, forgiveness, oneness and the like might appear idealistic, impractical, impracticable indeed when read off the pages of a book, but once you are on the journey they become unexpectedly user friendly! Ask me! I used to think unconditional love was only a sop for those who had no ‘real’ personal lives of their own! And being the much touted ‘witnesses seemed to me a concept Shiva created so that no one could copy him! And yet, a few years into this wondrous path, all these qualities ‘happen’ more and more naturally. One discovers that it was largely our misconceptions, rising from a half –baked understandings of these concepts, that made them loom so large and forbidding; and the rest of the gap is easily bridged by a growing awareness that literally changes the way we think and feel.

He Who Chooses the Infinite Has Been Chosen by the Infinite -Sri Aurobindo. The very 'desire' for liberation implies Self/The Infinite is readying for 'selfs/my' exit from the cosmic play. The 'effort & seeking' that thus arises is what Self /The Infinite is now doing towards Its awakening through a seeming 'self/me'! (Thus the seemingly sudden dedicated seeking ...that some wonder what brought that about!) .The 'effortlessness & surrender' that begins to be experienced is Self /The Infinite merging increasingly with self/me! (Thus it spontaneously happens of its own accord... and some wonder what can bring that about) The awakening is when Self/ The Infinite has fulfilled its exploration through self/me…and in that It merges wholly with the self/me … leaving only Itself, no me!

Often one embarks on the journey to Self for a better life-peace of mind etc! Then at some point one aspires growth, evolution and deeper understanding! Then at some point one aspires God, Consciousness and awakening. And then at some point all these aspirations dissolve... and we embrace the Now in complete acceptance… with no goals or aspirations not even God or awakening. This is the Zen concept of ‘Chopping  wood and boiling water’ … implying leading life simply and doing whatever our  Now requires… doing whatever the ‘chopping wood and boiling water’ means in our life- fulfilling our roles and going about our day and its practicalities … not running away from them. Each step just happens... and again we sometimes zig zag.... till we abide more in the latter and the former gets completely dissolved...!

To be continued