A DEEPER LOOK AT DESIRE - through the language of Tantra and Kabala! 

The materialization of every desire is imminent in its inception.

Let’s explore Desire! And let’s dive into its deep end, for while desire can be viewed from myriad angles, at it’s deepest: That which you seek also seeks you. Indeed, the materialization of every desire is imminent in its inception.

To reach this state of unqualified certainty however- beyond the intellectual- involves the journey of life… and indeed lives- whereby we traverse its many paths, adding piece by piece the understanding and more importantly the experience, required to live from the utter simplicity of this affirmation!

At its purest, what we call ‘desire’ is my ‘Will’ as ‘Godself’ to Be All That (already) Is. We can view this will as life force, as vitality, as prana that propels and gives life to all That I Am. Nothing can exist without this desire (even for those of you who desire to be without desire, it rises from a desire itself!) It’s what allows Void, Shakti, Cosmic Mother- The Supreme Feminine principle - as different from her aspect as prakriti, creation - to Be. To birth all that is within her. And this ‘will’, which rises from deep within Her, we call Shiva. We can further understand it through the language of kabala and its number 1; through the language of astrology and its Sun; through the language of tarot and its archetype the Magician!

And this same will to be all that you are, courses through you…feel it beloveds; pause for a moment in this reading… and feel it coursing through you. The desire to be all that you are, to live and play out all your potentials, to rest in the fulfillment of That you are! It’s your very life force! Glimpse it through your wishes and dreams and goals and aspirations; feel it as the power behind your urges, your inspirations, your passions; understand it as that force which propels you to move forward, change, expand; grasp that it is indeed even what you call evolution!

There are two differences however between our desire to be and Godselves will to be: Firstly, God self-wills to be all that it already Is… That I Am. And we desire to be more than what we are, other than what we are! But this is fine!  It is our current reason to be! To be a self who desires and creates this, that and the other–as part of the whole for the whole. Till we, through the fulfillment of each desire and thereby through its expansion, not suppression, move into the volition of pure being: in surrender to the will to be whatever my current role as creator is! And yes, this fulfillment of current desires can be through their outer experiences, what we may even label as positive or negative, but which take us beyond the desire and its reason to be; or it can be through understanding its raison d’etre within us and thus transcending it internally. Thereby do desires expand, to encompass more and more than merely current self; thereby do they extend to what may appear larger purposes… but shunning desires will not work in the long run! 

The second major anomaly is in our fretting that we may not be able to fulfill our desires; in our worry and stress while traversing the gap between desire and its fulfillment; in our lack of belief in its fulfillment as my birthright! And why is Creator so confident? Why does God traverse the path between the urge to be and its fulfillment in the timeless serenity we call existence itself?  Why is primal will reflected in the evenness of our in and out breath, in the easiness underlying the rhythms of nature, in the effortless pulsating of our very heart beat? This is the analogy I will take forward to understand desire further - our heartthrob, for what befits it better indeed!

View pictorially within you, even as you read my words, your heart… throb! Become aware of the steady rising and resting that comprises this heart beat. And glimpse in its smooth flow and ebb… its movement and stillness the beauty of desire, and its inherent fulfillment! View in the swell of your heart beat- your desire. And in its rest- its realization! In analogy you may even conjure a fountain that rises and flows back into its source. For at the deepest levels, desire... rises from what it already is… and has the Divine intelligence to be thus! We call this all potential, Void, Shakti, Cosmic Mother…

This rising, the heart swelling, the fountain gushing… is Shiva, number 1, willing to ‘Be’ (and in our terms ‘to experience’) That, from which it rises. And yet it rises from what it already is! What is indeed permeated by divine intelligence to thus be! And thus follows the strange anomaly that 1 rises from 2 (the feminine force all potential and its Divine intelligence to thus be.) And note… what rises, is number 2! Thus can 1&2… Shiva and Shakti never be separated…! And in this knowing of its inherent fulfillment is desire supremely confident.  And in this awareness that desire itself needs to ‘work out’ nothing, for divine intelligence is what orchestrates the show… does Shiva remain still and inert and witness to His desires…! And thus this does the ‘gap’, the motion, existence itself… become a deeply joyful process! Number 3 for the numerologists! The feminine principle, again but now as creation and prakriti! 

And for us, on the physical plane, let us at this point become aware of the most basic principles of this dimension: the understanding that the physical plane is but a reflection of its tangible counterpart that we call energy! All that you see as material is analogically the reflection you see in your mirror; and your desires, feelings and thoughts are the real ‘you’ that your mirror reflects! And thus do our physical lives - its events; people and things reflect our desires, as any mirror must reflect what stands before it! This physical reflection being number 4 and what seems ‘real’ to us!  Yet it is only the reflection of 2, which is the very crux of any desire… and thus need, must reflect!

But why does it take us, humanity, so much longer? Why does its realization sometimes appear not to be? Only because we don’t flow with the 3… the process, the gap as creator does! Only because we fret at 3! Only because we are not aware that the process is as steady as our heart beat… that our very desiring means its fulfillment… that divine intelligence is working out its expression! Our limited mind comes in the way… and so we get stuck in the ‘tension’ of 3 and don’t allow it to come to rest in the physical manifestation of 4!

All of this can also be understood through our sexual act if you allow it to speak to you symbolically. For today let’s view it briefly: Void, the supreme feminine being penetrated by the rising of desire; coupling in an exploration of all that is within, and the joy of the processes finding rest in an expanded state of fulfillment. Perhaps here we can more clearly see how the beauty of union or fulfillment is in its seeking…

True surrender is this awareness; this knowing that I am creator and my desire is the desire of the whole for the whole! And that inherent in ‘my’ desire is its fulfillment! And in this do the actions I take become easy and restful and I ‘surrender’ as I know Godselves will to be must be!  Surrender is thus not the abdication of desire and its actions - but employing our desires to their fullest potential, as the will of God (the whole) seeking to fulfill itself through me… and thus does surrender become not a state of listless ness but pure dedication, discipline and passion! And thus do I become detached from the results! Enjoying the 3, knowing that 1 and 2 must reflect in the number 4 of my reality. We can call this surrender; we can call it a state of pure being and we can paradoxically also call it the state known as desirelessness- not being without desires, but in a state of volition where everything that comes my way is my desire… or ‘His’ will to be through me! ‘Thy’ will and ‘my’ will become one and the same!

Of course this understanding will help us move away from guilt and blame in reference to desires - ours or another’s!  As each one is only a chalice, an aspect of the whole, containing, exploring, fulfilling, the One desire to Be All That I Am. So-called ‘negative’ desires, can be viewed in terms of what the whole chooses to disempower though you! This adds to the surrender we find ourselves in. And suddenly the many spiritual labels of desire, karma, freewill, destiny, and purposes become synonymous…each only a different lens pointing to the one cosmic play…! But I will explore that in writing, and leave you to follow your hearts throbbing… in this now.

NOTE:

*Indeed it is divine intelligence that has designed the game of separation, so that All That Is may become paradoxically more! It has devised its own dissolution so that its oneness can be truly enjoyed and experienced. It is divine intelligence that has designed universes and galaxies and worlds as tools to explore self! It is divine intelligence that has created souls and current selves, time and space, the laws of each dimension… so that each individuation thereof intrinsically and inherently fulfills its reason to be! And this divine intelligence permeates 2… void… cosmic mother… all that is… from which desire arises and in which it rests so naturally. And thus is desire permeated by divine intelligence, towards its fulfillment; and if you understand the largesse of the game or expression divine intelligence orchestrates…on the ‘whim’ of wanting to be… if you view the largesse of its ‘design’ to accomplish the primal desire to be… where the worry and doubt in it fuelling your desires? We may symbolically call divine intelligence Gayatri Devi… the feminine aspect of the sun… from which it rises as universal life force…! And indeed what permeates the sun allowing it to fulfill its purpose of being…