HOW
DID THE ‘I’ ARISE
The I can be viewed in myriad ways... always
needing to go beyond the words... as we are only trying to describe the
indescribable:
Awareness
becomes aware of Its unawareness- this is the rising of the I. And yet,
unawareness remains unaware of its awareness – impacted or disturbed or stirred
not by awareness!
Only analogy can help us go beyond the language
of duality – its like us having a point which is aware of our deep sleep state
even while we are in deep sleep – so that one aspect is aware of our deep sleep
of rest – and yet the deep sleep is not affected or disturbed or woken by this
point of awareness.
You can try this pictorially: Become the mother
(awareness) who is looking at her child deeply asleep (unawareness); as the mother
who knows her child has had a wonderful, fulfilled day and is thus deeply
asleep and at rest and fulfilled - you are aware of the child’s beautiful
fulfilled state of deep sleep… aware of
his blissful unawareness … yet the
child’s unawareness is not experienced by the child himself (unawareness)…only
experienced by you the mother (awareness)
Also while
we have to use linear language, and say the I ‘rises’, or awareness ‘becomes’
aware- in real absolute beyond linear terms - the I is an inherent aspect of
the Absolute… awareness is an aspect of Its unaware state… the sleeping Self (unawareness) always
has an aspect that is aware even of its sleeping Self (unawareness) ... this is
the I. But in linear language we say ... awareness 'becomes' aware... the 'I'
rises...
Only analogy can help us go beyond the language
of duality: If we describe water as wet, transparent, white, liquid etc… it
doesn’t ‘become’ wet when we focus on its wetness! It doesn’t ‘become’ transparent
when we focus on its transparency, it‘s whiteness doesn’t arise when we
describe or view it as white…! Indeed these are all inherent aspects of water
and they only become different when we focus on each aspect in labeling or
description! In the same manner awareness, unawareness, the I, consciousness ,
unconsciousness, void, creation etc etc
are all inherent aspects of the absolute… and only in understanding them do we
segregate them… and speak of them in terms of ‘rising’ or ‘becoming’…but just
as waters whiteness or liquidness or transparency cannot be separated from each
other or the water and doesn’t arise when we focus on it … these aspects (awareness, unawareness, the
I, consciousness , unconsciousness, void, creation etc) only ‘arise’ in
understanding the absolute!
***
Another way of seeing the I: We confer
onto an act/state of witnessing- an identity- and thus turn a ‘state of
witnessing’ into ‘a’ Witness. And this vast, all-inclusive,
all-penetrating act/state of witnessing - is that which we label as Self-I. However as we move into, establish and abide
as this all encompassing ‘Witness/I’ there comes its own dissolution – we move
even from this vastest identity – into pure beingness and a state of witnessing
- without any identity whatsoever. No I/Self even… no hooks to hang our hats on
The
narrower, more surface, much excluding & based in time & space is what
we call the participant-self-i .Thus
as we move from self to Self, as we expand our sense of i to I… we increasingly
move from being participant into further and further degrees of being the
witness…till we abide as the Witness. But then as said above, there comes upon
Its own dissolution – the move from identification- the move from ‘being the
witness’ to the identity less state of
witnessing! Thus in the ultimate sense
it is not only the ego-self that dissolves, but also the I/Self/.
As we move from i to I - even ‘I
Am’ dissolves… there is just isness… no identity... not even I... as “I”
implies another/exists… surely only in
reference to someone or something else other than I – can the notion of I
arise…. otherwise where even the notion even of
an “I”? So its we “i’s” who intellectually know about “I”ness,
who refer to it as “I” .But as That... (Wordless sate) It would not say “I”... surely.. .for where
the notion of I when there is no other!
We need to
go beyond the need to call this state something…even the word ‘no-self’
becomes a sort of self as it gives form to the formless and description to the
descirptionless! No hooks to hang your hats on!
A state of
witnessing rather than there being a witness! “Events and deeds happening
but no doer there of…” NOT EVEN I
***
Imho I AM
is derived from AOM (OM) - The universal sound that emanates as Unawareness
(That) becomes aware (I Am) and revels in Its pure beingness. Imho AOM (OM) is
the frequency/vibration of this state of Pure Beingness/Awareness - which we in
duality, have translated as I AM!
But
more accurately A-o-m is a state / frequency / vibration of Pure
Beingness/Consciousness and its Awareness. Lets
grasp this meditatively:
Aom = A(h)…. The wonder (of awareness) as It becomes aware of All That I Am!
O = (oooo) the ensuing bliss/delight in this experience/knowing!
M = (mmm) resting in this state of being! |