MAKING DESIRE A FRIEND
 My first writing on desire which is then pursued deeper in other writings over the years

As we begin our ‘spiritual’ lives we consider desire a dirty word. Like children taught to stay away from ‘bad words’ we are indeed taught to stay away from, reduce and vanquish all desire. It is we are told, the root cause of all our troubles. And most definitely the cause for the ever-renewing seasons of our lives dramas!

I too tried to control these desires…after all I wanted to reach God, and it seemed desire wouldn’t let me. Desire became the enemy, and a powerful one I must say. All my inner strength and knowledge couldn’t vanquish this one! Moreover my inner drummer would start her incessant drumming, loud and clear and a hundred questions would rise to the top. What is this desire we are so fighting? Isn’t the desire to reach god, or conquer desire a desire in itself?? Desire seems so natural and part of my world; how, why indeed would I do anything without the desire to do it?? Was this Gods spin bowling in the cricket of life??
         
It is many months and lost ‘battles’ against desire later that I now begin to somewhat, both understand it and its lead role in life. It still remains a difficult concept for me to truly say I have come to terms with, as many core beliefs have to be looked into. However, again I see that it is my understanding that is at fault, and not desire!! It is what meaning we ascribe to desire in general and to our more specific desires subsequently, which distinguish them from the usual connotation of their being ‘grasping claws’ or a divine aspect of ourselves that indeed evolves with us.

God or All That Is in its desire to experience Itself is the source of our universe and us! This ‘desire’ did not arise from Gods sense of limitation or need, but in pure joy of experiencing Itself, and through this Its expansion and thereby of all we attribute to God: Love and Bliss. Desire we see stemmed from a beautiful and wondrous state of Being. Infact the universal logos or the energies that our different Gods and Goddesses stand for is the pool of pure potential, all inherently desiring manifestation, experience, expansion .The creation of our universe then arose from the first ‘act of desire’ within this, attributed to the feminine principle, the Devi energy. All we see is a natural ‘result’ of this desire, and hence I am too. It is as much a part of me, as indeed is Divine Consciousness.
            
At our human level why does desire suddenly take on such a sinister meaning then? Life as we know it, couldn’t ‘happen’ without it surely? Every action we take stems from some desire; it is what propels us as humans. It is the petrol that keeps our cars running. More ever if we have all come for the experience through which we will grow and evolve then desire is what will get us there, instead of keeping us in its clutches?
            
To understand desire it may help, as it did me, if we trace mankind’s history. Desires are in tandem with evolution, starting from basic/base and growing towards more evolved. This can be viewed from early man’s desires revolving around survival; conquest, food and sex; and concentrating on the dense physical body. It is only as the ego evolved and understood its reason to be, that it became more creative. Hence as humanity as a whole evolves, so do the ego’s desires. We will discern eras where the ego’s focus changed from survival and conquest to art, discovery, technology...    with humanity as a whole even now, being in the ‘process’ of becoming co-creators. Desires as we see them currently, will thereby continue to have a new meaning! We can now relate this to individuals, and if we each imagine our personal ‘history’ too, it is what transpires over our several lives. With all of us being even now ofcourse, on differing ‘point’ of this larger ‘history’.
                
Equally helpful to me was placing desire in the right perspective. Classifying desire, as base and evolved, lower and higher, are words in description only, and do not imply evil or good, both being natural aspects of evolution. We are not one ‘up’ if we are ‘evolved’, as we too have started from base. If we view it in multidimensional times, then there is a more sobering effect;-)) as we realize aspects of ourselves are even now at every point on this cycle; some on the way ‘down’ into creation, and some on the way ‘back’. For those of us on the earlier levels of this cycle, it would help if we could view our more evolved selves, and for those of us on the more evolved turn of the wheel it will help viewing how we too are as earlier selves. The beautiful flower, is simultaneously the flower and the root, and the stem and all in between, all its parts being having their own validity in its wholeness and ensuing fragrance.

Another fact plays an important role, in dealing with desires. One learns that due to the organization and structure of human bodies, as we (and our reasons to Be) evolve, our vibrations rise. This works in both ways: the vibrations automatically attract desires of a higher frequency, and there is less ‘space’ for the earlier basic desires. This is not magical, but pure physics. We note a subtle shift then, with desires quite naturally transcending towards seeking knowledge and God, and the self becoming more ‘loving’ in a natural manner. There is no effort or struggle involved. The flower grows automatically, not fretting if it is going the right way or not. We spend a lifetime struggling towards what we consider good/holy desires and feeling unclean when we desire material and sensual comforts or pleasures. We quite forget that we have indeed chosen to experience what we so condemn. Suppressing desires makes them bounce back with more force, either in this current life or another. Not due to the ‘spite’ of an unfulfilled desire! But because all thought forms have an electro magnetic reality, and desire as a thought coupled with emotion has a force of its own.

Having understood all of this, we now come to the tricky aspects of desire! And its famous tight rope act! Does this mean then, if we are drawn to what we think of as  ‘base’ desires, we make no effort to transcend them?? No not at all, but my current understanding is that it is better to understand them, make them your ally, rather than fight or suppress them.What we need perhaps to do is first understand that desires are natural. If we consider it a pit of quicksand from which we need to flee, we will indeed sink deeper into its morass.
Understanding how, in general they are part of our souls journey will in itself help us in not judging desire as easily as we do, either in others or ourselves. It will help us view, and hence deal with, our desires in more balanced manner, rather than through a self-defeating condemnation and thoughts and feelings of shame, powerlessness and lack of self worth. It is this that bind us, and not the desires per se.

Then of course we can deal more specifically with individual desires... not allowing each and every desire to be looked down upon. Fulfill those we are comfortable with, now with our new vision. View them as part of where we are at this moment in our larger journey. We have all worked out whatever desires have gotten us to our current level of seeking, and those we still have should not scare us!! We can indeed view them as steps, we are climbing up with, and towards whatever goals we each have. They are merely steps however, and maybe some are landings where we spend a longer time, but once fulfilled we will have moved forward leaving them behind!! We should move forward with the same knowledge and self-assurance and ease we have while climbing the stairs. Do we ever worry about getting stuck on it and not reaching the floor we want to?

Experiencing them however, has a whole range of connotations in our minds. Many desires or the whole package still remains the ‘enemy’. It is here that our beliefs step in, and if we are uncomfortable, judgmental, about the desires we have, we must observe our beliefs behind them, then, rather than struggling with the desire itself. Our focus should shift from the desire we are grappling with, to the beliefs behind each. Why do we consider the desire a weakness or something to be avoided? What is the belief that makes it ‘wrong’? What repercussions do we fear? Why does suppression seem the better option when it doesn’t really work?
 
We have seen how our beliefs create our reality .It is our belief behind each desire then, that is the ‘enemy’ if there must be one! We maybe surprised to find many desires we considered ‘evil’ only so due to our core beliefs! And we have spent a life time trying to conquer something which we could have either experienced, enjoyed and moved forward through, or having determined the beliefs behind them, automatically rendered them redundant!! Instead we have been sending conflicting signals to the unconscious mind, and when we get a mixed bag of results, we blame desire!

Desire I now understand is at every point of our journey. Desire is the cause for Creation, the cause for its eternal continuity, and is indeed what takes us ‘back’ to source!! Every transcending ‘stage’ is inherent in it! By considering it an adversary we get stuck in what we then consider it ‘claws’. In understanding and making it an ally, we playfully aspire to becoming God and Love and Bliss. Desire is indeed God joyfully Experiencing, Being, and Expanding….

I caught a glimpse in some children around me, seeing how creatively they investigate and play and grow… in the cat intent fully unraveling her ball of wool, the dog running through the field for the sheer joy…how natural desire is in them…how divine indeed...

Divya Kumar 2003