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From My Heart to YoursFrom my energy fields to yoursReaching Out to the WorldDivination De-MystifiedDvyalok WorkshopsEurekaINTRODUCTION


Hello everyone! Today I’m going to speak about my personal experiences during my vacation and ‘break’… and what Eureka’s it led to…! Because this long break has been not only from channeling… but all things ‘spiritual’… whether it was energy work, classes, reading, writing and even that ‘all-important meditation’ for me.

It’s been a summer of pure play all the way- and it was only on hindsight-which it is often joked is a 20/20 vision- that I realized its been my most ‘spiritual’ phase- even w/o a single so called ‘’spiritual’ activity! Even in comparison to my more ‘overt spirituality’’ of the last few yrs! And I realized more than intellectually that being ‘spiritual’ -or being chilled –in the sense of an inner play- are truly synonymous! That’s the much spoken about beingness in our here and now!

That there is no separate/distinct state or phase of being ‘spiritual’ and that is why I am saying the word with these inverted commas …because we need to use words like ‘spiritual’ in day to day speak. We all know this intellectually but I was given a small taste of this… a conscious awareness that the ‘spiritual’ and ‘material’’ are not 2 mutually exclusive compartments. They are meant to be enjoyed and lived together. That is what this state of ‘being’ that the Masters keep talking about is. And we can best experience or understand this state of ‘being’ through play…and this is why the Masters have been giving us so many channelings on ‘play’ and the games that people play.

However I am going to go back a little in time to the last channeling I had attended - Meher baba’s channeling on play thru el…which yes I had thoroughly enjoyed… but I remember some part of me had remained unconvinced, with me sort of going “uhuh” when he asked us to spend the summer in play and away from all spiritual activities… I recall thinking that I was going to catch up on my spiritual reading in summer …and of course go to some ‘exotic’ locations for meditation…!But I have learnt, time and again, that when you are in true surrender to the Masters and to the Masters within you, they arrange experiences according to your true intent. They remove the husk and they arrange your experiences according to the wheat of your intent… your highest good! And unknown to me at that point, this summer was arranged to be one long play!

I am going to weave in some personal facts so that we get where I am reaching with this sharing, together! So- at that point we were going to America!! And I told my husband to look for some spiritual retreats or locations where we could medititate and do our spiritual reading and stuff…. I’d even taken a suitcase full of my books and my laptop so that I could do my spiritual e-mailing, writing! But of course it wasn’t to be- and as events transpired we were to be in hardcore, ‘material’’ New York for all of 24 days…and in spite of me being able to do my meditation -reading -writing etc on every holiday no matter where…this time it wasn’t to be! I simply wasn’t in the ‘mood’… much to my surprise! And it was a completely ‘material’ holiday: shopping, eating, movies, drama, chilling in the hotel…And it is only hindsight that I realized that through the material…in the material… I was in 24/7 touch with ‘spirit’ if you want to call it that… or ‘self’’, or ‘life’, or that ‘’sense of joy’ … that ‘chilled feeling’… that all just ‘is’.

-I remember walking into Macy’s and seeing all the many many ‘material’ objects and thinking, “Oh my God! How many ways God (or my God self), expresses through.” We usually see God in nature, birds, trees but we don’t think that every object is also an expression of my God Self. Every shade of lipstick, purse, and design is one more unique expression. How infinite and infinitesimal truly are we as ‘Godself! And even as all this was going through me I walked into the stationary section and there was this card, (which I bought only because it was too much of a ‘coincidence’) reaffirming my very feelings with a Rumi poem saying: “ “whenever I bring an object close to my heart, I hear God saying, “ah, you found me.”

-This sense of inner joy… spirit …pervaded me through the holiday in zillion ways…of which I will share a few …so that we may all become consciously aware that God, spirit, self… is with us in so many many so called ‘material’ ways…! Now…many present know I have this fetish about food and weight but on this trip food took on a new aspect! One day I was at this Cold Stone ice cream parlor…with the usual thoughts of lethal calories running through me…when suddenly, even as I waited in line, the ice cream began ‘speaking’ to me! It explained how food, truly, was another source of…form of that all essential prana…! And even as I doubted it by uhuh… “Prana is through breath and meditation…!” It explained to me how on a physical planet, this was one more beautiful way that we designed to receive prana-life force: “ You’ve taken physical birth to enjoy your 5 senses and through food…one can enjoy prana through all your senses…sight, taste, smell…etc! So view how much detail ‘you’ has gone into planning the physical 3 d experience…even putting in beautiful ways to enjoy the basic’s like prana! So sure, you get it through breathing and mediation…yet know that food is one more delightful source of prana and if you do that…can you over eat? Can you gulp more breath than is comfortable? So instead of ‘not eating more’ with your focus on putting on weight (which paradoxically will lead to weight as that is where your focus is!) just focus on absorbing as much prana as is comfortable in the now! ”

-That helped me in subtle ways-because every time I was eating- I wasn’t focusing on its heavy, dense energies, as we are wont to do… and this led to ‘Grace’ (that we say before or after eating food) taking on a whole new meaning! I realized how after a good meal you get a feeling of feeling filled, fulfilled, nourished, and replete… right here…(fingers pointed to the gut) and that is what we say Grace for! Thankfulness for that core feeling of fulfillment! And sure, as we experience that feeling directly through food traditions emphasize this ‘ saying of grace for food’ but actually the Grace is for our focus on the feeling of fulfillment. If you focus on that, every time you ‘eat…think how positively your focus is placed through the day and what you can thus draw into your life!
There is a tarot card, which describes this feeling of core fulfillment to me- it has children playing and the male and female energy embracing each other…and it struck me how the card showed play and rest and all that I am speaking about as ‘beingness’!

-This reminds me of the games we play…because even as I landed in New York, I was going all new age and murmuring “oh my energies are getting depleted….etc!!!” And yet few days into the holiday, as you may get a gist from above, I was loving New York! And I real-ized that it wasn’t about New York or Mt Shasta or Pondicherry …or any energy outside me but within! Mayank would look at the tall buildings in New York and say “it’s so claustrophobic …cant stand it… let’s go into the open…” and I would look at the soaring buildings and view sprit soaring…the human urge to grow…its grandeur…!. And realized you can enjoy ‘being’ in any place… and do not always need nature, and green and grass to feel good …’spirit’ can be viewed everywhere…!

-This blend of spirit and matter remained with me…in a bath tub I viewed source filling up as pure consciousness and the bubbles as its movement shakti…at airports I viewed ‘people’ arriving ‘home’ and happy much like we would do in what we call ‘death’! And others leaving, excited about upcoming adventures, much as we do when we take birth! Waiting to be checked into the hotel, I saw how some travelers came lugging luggage…blueprints with much to be done in this life…and others breeze in with hand luggage, perhaps a life chosen to take it easy! And this brings to mind that none of us can truly judge the other spiritual evolution based on the life we view him/her leading…. someone with a tough life may appear to struggle and be less evolved than say a spiritual teacher…but we do not know what is in their suitcases! And that’s a big equalizer! Even as I was doing my packing to come home- and I saw all the extra stuff I had carried but not used – I realized this is very much like free will and destiny-we make plans –and don’t always use all of them! But we do come prepared with many options!

-And this continued in more ways- it was raining one day when we had planned a day walking about…and though usually I am very gung- ho on big weather fixing through intent;-))…I was just not in the mood to go through the ‘process of intent! And as I just looked into the clouds and saw a wee bit of sun peeking out…and it filled me with so much warmth, and pleasure and I recall that I instantly felt that if I am ALL that is…then all must be feeling this surge …however briefly, imperceptibly felt…and as my heart swelled with this feeling of all reveling in whatever the sun meant to each of us… I saw that the clouds began to move and the sunshine spread into a sunny afternoon! This made me realize how we do not need to go through elaborate processes of ‘intent’ when we are truly in alignment with spirit…self…life…god call it what you may!

-Another day I was walking by a child who was hurt and crying, and I realized my energies going towards him …and realized some sort of healing was occurring…. And I was so tempted to turn back…and view…had it done anything!? Was he healed!? Or was it my imagination…and even as I these thoughts started ‘spirit’ was murmuring to me to come off that!! It spoke to me how healing is a natural exchange of energy…and by turning and viewing I will get no proof-as it may well seem nothing happened! But surely I was aware that healing was a process-and perhaps my energies were that one more piece the universe used to aid the child…a small but vital part in the larger process! This helped me not judge my energy work…healing based on visible results… as we may never see or know the larger picture but to quietly and confidently allow it to ‘happen’….!

Ah well I am going to pause my recounting here and veer of to the finale! In the last week I got an opportunity to do a tarot course with 2 world famous tarot readers and I was very excited as tarot is my passion ! It is amazing how the course ‘happened’ last moment! More so Mayank and I travel on mileage points and there is no way you can change a ticket and yet somehow- I must give credit to Mayank- he managed to do it. Now I realize it was not only Mayank… it was Meher Baba at play…and you will soon see why!

I went to the tarot course, with my notes, pencils, books, journals…ha ha the divyaa paraphernalia! And as most courses do in introduction, we were each asked to share what we hoped to gain from the class. When my turn came I launched into how it was my passion and I wanted to add to my knowledge and go deeper etc … and the tarot teacher sort of looks at me confused and wonders if I had mistakenly come in a week early as it was the next course which dealt with all this in-depth matter- tarot and Kabala! She added that this weeks course “tarot play.”

In that spit moment it all came together-this whole speak on my holiday being about play! And it was amazing because Meher Baba was oh so present suddenly- laughing loudly, falling on the floor! And I told the teacher it wasn’t the wrong course; it was the course I was meant to come to…and shared a little of this with them! And from then onwards I could feel Meher baba’s presence…. Because every evening ‘Mayank’ would ask me –(though I know it was my own mirror, my own voice, my own conditioning which I would hear through Mayank) “So how do you like the course?” and I’d say, “It’s great fun” and he’d ask again next evening, “But are you learning anything or gaining anything. Is it something you can ‘use’? Are you growing spiritually?” Till I finally realized and said “No! I’m gaining nothing…adding nothing …its not leading to anything… It’s not going to improve anything but I’m having the time of my life.”

And that dear friends was a very, very big eureka for me and it’s where I’m leading to and what I want to really speak about. Because from that point onwards Meher Baba kicked in big time and this certain sense of urgency left me and so much… so much clicked within me on play, rest, beingness…rest in action!


Somewhere along the line our spirituality has become or tends to become goal oriented! Either as to where we are ‘headed’ in terms of growth-evolution- energy expansion- 4d-5D or without us even knowing, we’re thinking of where is this going? What can I do with it? How can I use it? How do I use my expanded energy fields? Where is this leading? What’s our purpose to be…! When Meher Baba had kicked in and all this was happening I realized that we just replace one set of goals with another and just because they are spiritual goals, it doesn’t make it any different in the larger picture!

Even the words we use impact us subconsciously… like ‘I’m a seeker’. Seeker means I want to go somewhere and find something. Or I’m on a journey’… subconsciously, psychologically, makes you feel there is something bigger, better, grander at the ‘end’ of the journey and heightens the importance of a goal –a purpose- a end result-achievement! Yet true spirituality is paradoxically about …being… pure experience ...play in the now… the goal is to be goalless!

As all of this was buzzing about in my head- the world football game was going on. Not being a sports lover I was desultorily watching it one evening, wondering what the fuss about getting the ball in the net is all about! Even as I thought that- I realized it wasn’t about the ball in the net; it was the experience of playing- the winning, the losing, the challenges within the game that the world enjoys. Even as I thought that… a ludo board game I used to play with my dad popped into my mind. And please- we used to play this as adults not when I was a toddler- when we wanted to just ‘be’…chill…enjoy the experience …the togetherness…! To chill we’d play ludo and I realized that we were creating a goal through this game but the actual purpose of this game was just to enjoy, just to ‘be’.

So if you grasp this…just like we ‘create’ a goal through a game- (and winning is only a goal put in for the experience of the play) but the main purpose, the main ‘goal’ is actually the experiences within it…. similarly we create our spiritual goals, life purposes etc…but its really about the experiences within/towards it!

And this was my ‘Eureka’ that I really want to share with you: that the goal that you are so obsessed with is actually a means to an end, it’s not the end itself…it’s the route…that which enables the experiences! And in reverse what we consider ‘just’ the route…or journey or experiences is the goal! This is a big one if you really think of what I’ve said! The goal is actually the means to the end and all that you are experiencing towards that goal is your actual goal or your purpose. It completely reverses the whole picture and if you sit with this and think about it, it will really open up stuff within you.

Even when you think of Your ‘soul purpose or monadic purpose’…understand now that we indeed first choose what experiences we wish to experience…what we want to learn… and then we give ourselves a ‘soul purpose’ so that in the attempt of reaching that soul purpose, the experiences that we actually require are enabled. So the whole thing is completely in reverse! So yes we have ‘monadic purposes, soul purposes and current purposes’- but truly they are just the means to the experiences they will bring forth and which are the true ‘purposes’!

If we take this higher or deeper…and view it through ‘God’…then we are all aware that God’s (or my God self’s) purpose to be is what…? Just to ‘Be’ all that I Am…play…and so I manifest myself into these many individuations: monadic selves, soul selves, current selves…and ascribe to each ‘one’ a ‘goal’, a ‘purpose’ and as ‘they’ go about fulfilling these purposes- “MY’ goal as God… to ‘be’ …just experience all that is….is achieved!

If we keep this in mind we will not be so obsessed or judge self by or through the achievement of our goals/purposes ….as the very playing/journey wherever you are, is in the larger picture, your goal being achieved! Moment to moment you are accomplishing your ‘goal’ through every experience…and not by reaching somewhere as we had thought! ! Because in the larger picture, wherever you are- you are achieving goals! Whether you’re failing or losing or winning will take a whole new picture because, moment to moment, whether you’re winning or losing, doing it or not doing it, whatever your experience is, is actually moment to moment of your goal being fulfilled.

So just view this with me again: Before we are born, we first choose what experiences we require, what we want to play or learn…. and then we put in a goal. And then we encode ourselves with the desires for these ‘goals’! It is literally in reverse to what we normally think! This is a little abstract so let me give you an example: lets say that my ‘goal is to reach out to as many people as I can! And I realize that this ‘goal’ is a little game my soul is playing for the true ‘goal’ is all the experiences…learning that there will be in this endeavor! All the experiences I’ve had in the last 4 years whilst trying to fulfill this goal…. is my actual soul purpose: The getting up, falling down, I can do it… No, I can’t…I can do it beautifully… the self-worth, the self-empowerment… moving from self to groups…etc - that was the actual goal; and what I have loftily taken as reaching out to people was just the carrot, the game my soul chose to play. Others will play another game; they might have the same soul lessons, or choose similar experiences but they will choose to do it by perhaps being an interior decorator, a designer, a business manager, it doesn’t matter. And so we actually first think of the experiences we want, then we put in the goal and then we encode ourselves with the desire. This is completely in reverse to what we have thought and desire is the medium to keep us going so that we can fulfill all that we have chosen to experience…be!

This does not mean we will not have goals- as humans we will - it’s the game we are playing- but now view them as the means to an end! not the end itself! View them in terms of the experiences within them! Try and view what experiences they entail and that really is the goal and enjoy that!


I’m going to end over here because I would like you all to think of what I have just said and I would like to give Meher Baba a very public apology. It’s not a clichéd ‘I am sorry, Baba,’ kind of an apology. It’s the true apology that is reflected without words when you view the ‘other’ in a completely new perspective! The wholly new way I now know him! Because whenever Meher Baba would come in our channelings-I would think ‘Ok this is fun and games but where is the meat, where is the real stuff’ And it is only after this holiday that I truly realized that his laughter, his jokes …is the meat… is the real stuff!! And all the erudite knowledge I so seeked was the means to that! Meher Baba has assimilated, has digested that meat, so what meat could he give us but the satisfaction, the joy of laughter?

Many of us wrote a book that Meher Baba asked us to; and many asked him, at that time, what it was about. He hadn’t given us a reason and so we all presumed some great lofty reason was going to come up later and so we all wrote the book…. presuming that the purpose would be revealed. I now frankly think there was nothing to be revealed! And that was the purpose…whatever experiences each one got out of writing that book was the purpose of writing that book!

This also makes me appreciate other ‘masters’ or gurus who reach out by love, hugs, laughter and not only necessarily words…I used to always wonder…now I truly understand! I appreciate poetry ….as it truly is a balance between the two approaches- for me a perfect medium!

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