BELOVED SELF

"Perfection is achieved, not when there is nothing more to add,but when there is nothing to take away."Antoine De Saint-Exupiry

Are you seeking love? Do you yearn to be accepted by your colleagues? Or perhaps nurtured by some special other? And if your answer is yes, all you need to do- to start with- is switch your focus! Instead of merely looking for it outside, begin to tap it within- and my dearest friends, love will indeed surround you in all its wondrous aspects.

And how do you do that? How do you fall in love with self? Exactly the way you feel for another in the first flush of love: with a headlong acceptance of self. Viewing your different facets, as the different colors of a diamond- none good or bad, right or wrong! To the many who ask me “How do we love self”? And to those who volunteer “Well we think we love self…do we”? My response is always the same: “How comfortable are you with self? Truly”?

Self-love is simply acceptance of self in all its nuances. It is not turning a blind eye to perceived areas of growth, or parts you wish to enhance or disempower- but the attitude you view these with! If you render them ugly, dislike parts or allow guilt to creep in - you move from self-acceptance to blame and judgment. Instead know deep in your heart how utterly unique a being you are and how valiant an expedition you have chosen towards exploration of this self, and pat yourself in this acknowledgment. Sure you can choose to incorporate change and extend current self-but always in this positive awareness.

Your relationship with self is your primary relationship and very vital to how you will experience life. Thus make it your focal point of attention and everything else will reflect this change! If you are self critical, you will find others to criticize you! If you feel insignificant, you will experience that in your relationships. Indeed the more you accept self the more you let your brothers and sisters off the hook! In self-recrimination do you impose negative judgments on others. It is called projection- if you find yourself labeling the other as arrogant, ask yourself is it because you begrudge him a confidence you don’t have? Have you called anyone selfish recently? Dig deep and you may discover it stems from a fear that there isn’t enough for you!  And aha- what’s behind finding that ‘other’ promiscuous? Do you feel a lack of sex appeal, or perhaps fear losing your spouse to them? The responses will be personal and different for each one of-but will always lead you back to self and indeed surprise you how it is never about the other!

Self-love is not a vague esoteric ideal but based on quantum physics and the mechanics of how energy works! Understanding this helps unleash its power and what I hope to enable through this column. Your self- view is a moment-to- moment energy signature you vibrate at and self-appreciation is an empowering positive focus to attract more of the same! Remember like attracts like! Furthermore it creates a personal energy field so vibrant that another law of energy comes into play- the law of least resistance- which indeed resists its opposite to enter your energy field. Think about this: if you are loving and accepting of self, then anger, hatred, critique and the like by-pass you due the resistance your loving aura offers! If you are full of self-hate and anger- love is what sidesteps you instead!

Introspection for today: Take a deep appreciative look inside! And watch as the world falls in love with you.