ONE LINERS

-I'm going to start thinking positive, but I know it won't work.

-How can there be self-help "groups"?

-I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, "Where's the self-help section?" She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose.

-What did the Zen Master say when she walked into the Pizza Shop? 'Make me one with nothing!

-When the Master received the pizza, she gave the pizza-man a $20 bill. The pizza-man pocketed the bill. The Master asked "Don't I get change?" The Zen pizza-man replied, "Change must come from within."

-When two psychic friends met, one said: 'You are fine. How am I?'

-Why did it take the Buddha forever to vacuum his sofa? Because he didn't have any attachments.