AS LONG AS YOU DESIRE TO MEET OT MERGE WITH GOD - YOU WILL HAVE A GOD OUTSIDE YOU AND THE GOD THAT YOU ARE CANNOT BE!

Lot of us talk in terms of ‘meeting’ God or ‘becoming one’ with God/Consciousness, but at some point we need to become aware - that there is no God/Consciousness ‘out there’ to meet or even become one with. It is more about growing into our God awareness… awareness of being Consciousness or the state of being we call God. Otherwise it’s like me saying “I’m going to meet my adult Self, I’m going to meet my older Self…. but I’m never going to meet them … I’m just going to grow into being them…! If I keep looking for them outside I will never find them!?  

So become aware that it is not about meeting or merging with God… but about expanding ones awareness into the state of awareness called God! Indeed this awareness itself - subtle as it is, is all important - because as long as you desire to meet God or even ‘become one’ with God then you are going to have a God outside you to do that and the Godself that I Am …cannot be!

As seekers we also view the desire and yearning for divine merger and union with our gods and masters as divine…sacred…very spiritual…but at the very core level it comes from separation! A desire for union and merger only arises when there is some sense of- degree of separation… when there is no separation where the desire for union? Do we yearn to be one with self? With my toe? And as long as we seek ‘union’… till this yearning for ‘oneness’ remains… it implies ‘another’… implies a Master Guru God to revere or merge with outside us - and paradoxically we remain in separation…. the veil however thinned…remain... and the Godself that I Am –that what we really seek- cannot be. As one increasingly abides as God… even this the yearning diminishes.

Those on the spiritual path often admire and want to be like those mystics who sit in deep meditation for zillions of years...and yet that is only a phase... a step in the journey to Self… perhaps you have already done that!  Indeed when there is no separation... one doesn’t ‘sit in’ meditation to connect ...you don’t seek God... you live your day-to-day life in/as your Godhood-God awareness!

Often we admire those who see god...have got gods purnam darshan...but again at it’s very deepest - once you are The whole you cannot get the darshan outside you! Its like Krishna… Shiva... seeking to see themselves in their purnam avatar...they don’t- they know they are the Whole! At a simpler level… to know &see everything as God/Self ... to know & see that nothing is not God/Self... is the much spoken about mystical God vision/purnam darshan! Indeed it is the yearning to see... receive... some 'other' mystical purnam darshan… that keeps us from this moment-to-moment purnam darshan. The more we abide in this state, the less is the yearning to see our Gods/Masters outside us in mystical ways... the more we see God in the day to day people, events & things around us the less is the yearning to our Gods/Masters in miraculous out of the world ways.

And so we come back full circle… when God/Shiva chose to see Self... he became the universe and 'you' and ‘me’ and all within it!!! And as we grow into our Shiva hood... there is no God outside to meet or see or merge with.

You then live life wholly … as You The Whole... lives it through 'you' the current expression...

Surrender or homage can be to Guru… God… or Self… all three states are seemingly the same... and yet each is a subtle and all important shift into an increasingly authentic state of God Awareness… and its true surrender! When nothing... not even our guru or god stand between this Self... when there isn’t even a grain of sand in between... do we truly abide in Self. Ultimately abiding in Self is beyond devotion... gyan... even love. Devotion to whom? Love implies another. And Gyan ...knowledge of Self… is still a hairs breadth from being Self! And this is the only true surrender- to Self! And yet, contradictions coexist, and so does devotion and love and gyan...but in a completely different way.

Ah to the paradoxical cosmic mating dance! To the simultaneous divine yearning and divine fulfillment; fulfilled even as we yearn and yearning even in fulfillment; seeking union even whilst enjoying the cosmic foreplay; the Shakti in me seducing the Shiva in me; the Shiva in me stretching it that wee bit longer… Ah to the Now.